Rules were meant to be broken

I'm a freak for music ~ this is no secret.

Last night I was telling Josh that if we went to Lakeville a day early, we could go to see Secondhand Serenade. He says "eh..." I told him that it could be fun and he says "You could be pregnant by then and pregnant women don't need to be gallivanting around at three concerts in one week." I know when he says this he means me, not just any pregnant woman in general.

Later, he started to lay down the pregnancy rules ~ there's only a couple now, but I anticipate that the list will grow.

1. I have a 10 p.m. curfew ~ pregnant women need their sleep. I must be home by 9:50, regardless of the event.

2. 3 meals must be eaten per day. At least two good meals must be eaten if I plan on eating ice cream that day.

3. Vitamins must be taken every day. No forgetting.

Least I'm not the only one

I realize Josh is serious about us starting a family. I just didn't realize that he's been sort of obsessing just as much as I.

He's researched vitamins for himself to take. He says we're not taking any chances since we are hoping for a due date that falls after the school year.

Josh reading up on "prenatal" vitamins for himself and buying what looks like a 3 year supply = sooooo cute.

A Love Letter

Dear Birth Control~
I miss you.

I had forgotten how often I got migraines before you came along. I'd also forgotten how much they hurt and how sick I would get from them. I realize that you couldn't prevent them completely but at least I always knew when I could probably be getting one.

Without you, my cycle was all over the place. I am not happy to be going back to that craziness.

So, PLEASE, if you have any cousins that can regulate my migraines and when I bleed to death, please send the my way. SOON!

I look forward to you returning to my life, just not until after we have a baby!

Love,
M

Things Just Not Talked About

Babies are life changing. Duh. I just didn't think about the baby stuff that's not talked about. Today I'm thinking about it.

For my friends with healthy babies ~ you are so blessed. For my friends in those situations not talked about ~ my heart breaks for you.

First: miscarriage. Here's the thing, relatives have miscarried before and (not to sound heartless) I didn't think much about it. A friend miscarried and it affected me much more. This is one of "my people" ~ I realize the first is family, but the second was family that I've chosen so I looked it differently for some reason. Really, I think it affected me more because that friend could be me. I don't know.

Second: adoption. This one's really gotten to me. More so because I'd never thought much about the male perspective on it. Today I thought about it. As a female, you end up as the executive decision maker on that one usually. I can't even begin to imagine what that is like to make that decision. As a male, one the decision is made you just get to go along with it. I realize there's all sorts of situations and such when this decision is made, but I'm just thinking generally today. To hear the male side of it today got to me. I had this whole "wow" moment. For a male, pregnancy is mostly a spectator sport ~ face it, guys have the easy job. Or so I thought. When it reaches the point, though, that the responsible one is the male and he realizes what the best situation is for everyone involved and can't dictate that that's how things go.....that's sad.

Really, the words I wanted for this entry just wouldn't come out right and so this is maybe not making any sense, but it is helping me sort my thoughts so....oh well. I think, though, that the words I want wouldn't come because I don't want to explain full situations.

To anyone that's ever miscarried, given a baby up for adoption, or adopted a child...my heart goes out to you. You are brave.

So I obsess a little about things

First off, prenatal vitamins are amazing for my fingernails. Yay for that!

Like any other thing I obsess about, I read at least one baby/parenting/that sort of article per day. We're not even pregnant (and don't anticipate beinig so until August or September) and I'm paying attention to names, deciding what I do and don't like. Josh says that he gets to name our first son and I get to name the first daughter. He has his name picked out (pretty impressive). He says that the way things are going on my end, a baby girl will be born and we won't have a name for her until a week later. Great....another thing to worry about.

While I'm on the subject of things that I worry about, here's one: a medical emergency during/before/after labor. I've honestly thought about writing a sort of living will, or whatever it's called, and having it notorized. I just want to make sure that if something happens, Josh and our families at least know what my wishes are. It's not that I think they won't know, I just want to make sure my bases are covered, I guess. I've had conversations with some family before about similiar stuff and our opinions differ greatly. Imagine that!

2555+

Today is the first day in 7 years that I don't have to think about taking a birth control pill. Today is the first day of our attempt to have a baby.

I am anxious, excited, scared, worried. I am ready.

Holy crap, we're finally really doing this.